The Gift of Self-Compassion

‘‘Forgiveness is freeing’’

But too often, we talk about it only in the context of forgiving others. While that matters, today, let’s talk about the kind of forgiveness we rarely acknowledge—the one we owe ourselves.

We can be so hard on ourselves. We hold ourselves to high standards, which can be great, but somewhere along the way, we lose empathy for ourselves. We judge our mistakes so harshly that even when we heal, it’s often through the lens of “I forgive them” or “I left that situation, so I feel better.” But how often do we sit with ourselves and say, “I forgive you”?

Sometimes, you need to pause, breathe, and speak to yourself with kindness. Your inner child is still listening.

Forgive yourself for the choices you made, both intentional and unintentional. For the situations you walked into and the ones that blindsided you. For the times you didn’t stand up for yourself when you should have. For ignoring your gut and getting hurt in the process. For friendships and relationships that didn’t last. For the times you fell short, were the bad friend, or dismissed your feelings—or someone else’s.

Here’s something to always remember: We are all doing life for the first time.

Read that again. We are all figuring it out as we go. Nobody has it all together. Even those who seem like they do have made mistakes and learned from them.

That’s the key—learning. Forgive yourself and move forward. Don’t stay stuck in the “could haves” and “should haves.” You didn’t know better. And even if you thought you did, something was missing, which means—again—you didn’t know better. So don’t punish yourself for what you didn’t know. Instead, love yourself through it. Be your own biggest supporter. That means showing yourself grace, kindness, and compassion.

And always remember—God loves you too.